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A: All life on the planet is bound by the rules of nature (yes, even us); B: Nature can never be made perfectly fair (yes, we can bend the rules but we can't remake them); C: Most of the country is scientifically illiterate or close to it so A and B are meaningless; all of which leads to D: A fairness issue wherein everyone is half right and everyone is simultaneously full of shit, thus creating the perfect framework for an American argument.

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