Since you survived this long, what I did to put this together was farmed 300 bullshit phrases and then randomized them in Excel, building sentences out of discrete batches of them roughly in order.
I could probably do the same thing again and come up with an entirely different result.
I figured that out after the first paragraph, haha. It is Joycean: Totally opaque. But that's probably being too kind. Opaque implies that there's meaning to be uncovered.
I am sure there are fans of James Joyce out there who would object. I'm just not one of them.
Now that's a Scrumlang nightmare. I feel an acute case of Jargon poisoning coming on.
I am curious what a "weapons grade, tactical dinosaur chainsaw consultant" would look like.
Was the Juice worth the squeeze? I don't know. If there's an actual message in here somewhere, it's well hidden. Maybe it'll be a bit clearer after that bio break.
> I am curious what a "weapons grade, tactical dinosaur chainsaw consultant" would look like.
Me, possibly. ;) I'm definitely in the top 10% for oldest person at my company (dinosaur) and my primary go-to scripting language is perl (which has been described as a "markov chainsaw" in addition to many other significantly less flattering things), I'm 1099 so there's the "consultant" part, one of the reasons I was hired was specifically to balance out some of the "kids" and be able to provide appropriate grey unixbeard horror stories, so there's the "tactical", and I'll just go ahead and declare my self bad-ass enough to qualify as "weapons grade".
TA-DA! :D
As for the actual post, I might have made it all the way through the third sentence before my eyes just glazed. ;)
I've had software leads like you. I could see that working as a job title.
I managed to get through the whole thing. I've found that this sort of nonsense is easier to read in reverse. start at the last paragraph and work backwards. hopefully they get to the point about the time they finish. If they don't, at least each paragraph of nonsense can be understood without the confusing pile preceding it.
The coherency is a level up! It's internally incoherent, as such. But as a brilliant critique of the last ten years of Corporate-speak (usually seeded by the Mega Consultancies), you've exposed my fish bowl water to me. Now I'm moving to consultancy! 🤣
Since you survived this long, what I did to put this together was farmed 300 bullshit phrases and then randomized them in Excel, building sentences out of discrete batches of them roughly in order.
I could probably do the same thing again and come up with an entirely different result.
Do you want Skynet? Because this is how you get Skynet.
"Blue Skynet Thinking"
I figured that out after the first paragraph, haha. It is Joycean: Totally opaque. But that's probably being too kind. Opaque implies that there's meaning to be uncovered.
I am sure there are fans of James Joyce out there who would object. I'm just not one of them.
Now that's a Scrumlang nightmare. I feel an acute case of Jargon poisoning coming on.
I am curious what a "weapons grade, tactical dinosaur chainsaw consultant" would look like.
Was the Juice worth the squeeze? I don't know. If there's an actual message in here somewhere, it's well hidden. Maybe it'll be a bit clearer after that bio break.
> I am curious what a "weapons grade, tactical dinosaur chainsaw consultant" would look like.
Me, possibly. ;) I'm definitely in the top 10% for oldest person at my company (dinosaur) and my primary go-to scripting language is perl (which has been described as a "markov chainsaw" in addition to many other significantly less flattering things), I'm 1099 so there's the "consultant" part, one of the reasons I was hired was specifically to balance out some of the "kids" and be able to provide appropriate grey unixbeard horror stories, so there's the "tactical", and I'll just go ahead and declare my self bad-ass enough to qualify as "weapons grade".
TA-DA! :D
As for the actual post, I might have made it all the way through the third sentence before my eyes just glazed. ;)
I've had software leads like you. I could see that working as a job title.
I managed to get through the whole thing. I've found that this sort of nonsense is easier to read in reverse. start at the last paragraph and work backwards. hopefully they get to the point about the time they finish. If they don't, at least each paragraph of nonsense can be understood without the confusing pile preceding it.
Two paragraphs. Pay me now. Two dollars, I want my two dollars.
Can't decide if this is incoherent, brilliant, or both. Leaning towards both.
Something like this cannot be both coherent and brilliant at the same time.
Whether it is brilliant or simply incoherent remains in question.
The coherency is a level up! It's internally incoherent, as such. But as a brilliant critique of the last ten years of Corporate-speak (usually seeded by the Mega Consultancies), you've exposed my fish bowl water to me. Now I'm moving to consultancy! 🤣
Ha!
I got to “running up the flag pole”. I’ll go develop some more self hate, and try again.
This is the corporate management version of the turbo/retro encabulator.
That was literally exactly the point. Watched that YouTube twice before writing it.
I couldn't get through this - at the halfway mark I had a rising urge to gouge out my eyes with a rusty fork so I decided to call it.
Huh?
Maybe I'm gpt3.