I started following your written musings due to OSD. Then I started reading other things you were writing that weren't necessarily related to that particular forum. You, Sir, have a perspective that is rare in a lot of circles.
Less than 2 months ago I had my 1st routine colonoscopy. Advanced colon cancer was discovered, 2 weeks later I said goodbye colon, hello bag, 4 weeks after that aggressive chemo started. Almost done with cycle 1 of 12.
I "retired" a few years ago with 26 years military service. Started with 2/75 Rangers, ended with 19th SFG. So I am not the kind of guy to just roll over when faced with challenge and adversity.
While everyone's days are numbered, mine are numbered rather less than I had previously assumed. With 2 children yet to graduate high school who live with their mom. Seeing my grandkids someday is not a sure thing.
I've already begun plans on how to make the most of my remaining time, which while not imminent, is not long term either.
Pardon the language, but this bubble analogy is fucking perfect.
I like it when you write like this. Does it really matter who is president or what the talking head on TV is saying when we could drop dead of an aneurism at a moment's notice? Most of what we seem to care about, including (especially) career stuff, is just noise.
Going SCUBA diving this week. It's time to live life again, what's left of it. Over the years, the reefs have become degraded. This is the slow type of death that scares me.
Ah man. It's not often the small, cold, stone in the center of my chest reacts to anything. It did just now and for that I'm grateful. Thank you for the reminder that no matter how brief, or difficult, there is beauty in the journey. I too have had to be "The Bearer of Burdens" and was always content in that role, until I wasn't. Fortunately, maybe, I'm still not sure, my breakdowns were brief and endured without witnesses, as far as I know. One such 'twelve year plan' had me counting the $34 I had in my pocket, convincing myself I could hitch hike to the coast and hop a tramp freighter and never be heard from again. In my mind, my duties had been fulfilled and I owed no one anything, least of all, explanations.
Lucky for me, I rarely follow my best intentions anymore. Spent a long time doing just that and made a true mess of things. Strange how the winds of fate can send your bubble careening into others and you suddenly find a purpose you never knew you had. Even though that bond is all too brief, you find yourself better for having experienced it.
Nov 24, 2022·edited Nov 24, 2022Liked by Handwaving Freakoutery
That is really beautiful. Thank you. I’m sorry for your losses. Your piece today is such a fitting reminder for us to appreciate life, now, and the people we love. Happy Thanksgiving…hope today your bubble floats you to over to be near your kids, good food and peace.
Thank you for sharing this.
I started following your written musings due to OSD. Then I started reading other things you were writing that weren't necessarily related to that particular forum. You, Sir, have a perspective that is rare in a lot of circles.
Less than 2 months ago I had my 1st routine colonoscopy. Advanced colon cancer was discovered, 2 weeks later I said goodbye colon, hello bag, 4 weeks after that aggressive chemo started. Almost done with cycle 1 of 12.
I "retired" a few years ago with 26 years military service. Started with 2/75 Rangers, ended with 19th SFG. So I am not the kind of guy to just roll over when faced with challenge and adversity.
While everyone's days are numbered, mine are numbered rather less than I had previously assumed. With 2 children yet to graduate high school who live with their mom. Seeing my grandkids someday is not a sure thing.
I've already begun plans on how to make the most of my remaining time, which while not imminent, is not long term either.
Pardon the language, but this bubble analogy is fucking perfect.
I like it when you write like this. Does it really matter who is president or what the talking head on TV is saying when we could drop dead of an aneurism at a moment's notice? Most of what we seem to care about, including (especially) career stuff, is just noise.
Going SCUBA diving this week. It's time to live life again, what's left of it. Over the years, the reefs have become degraded. This is the slow type of death that scares me.
There is no beauty, no value, in that which cannot be lost. That it exists for only a time is what makes it special.
Ah man. It's not often the small, cold, stone in the center of my chest reacts to anything. It did just now and for that I'm grateful. Thank you for the reminder that no matter how brief, or difficult, there is beauty in the journey. I too have had to be "The Bearer of Burdens" and was always content in that role, until I wasn't. Fortunately, maybe, I'm still not sure, my breakdowns were brief and endured without witnesses, as far as I know. One such 'twelve year plan' had me counting the $34 I had in my pocket, convincing myself I could hitch hike to the coast and hop a tramp freighter and never be heard from again. In my mind, my duties had been fulfilled and I owed no one anything, least of all, explanations.
Lucky for me, I rarely follow my best intentions anymore. Spent a long time doing just that and made a true mess of things. Strange how the winds of fate can send your bubble careening into others and you suddenly find a purpose you never knew you had. Even though that bond is all too brief, you find yourself better for having experienced it.
Thanks for the reminder.
Astounding! I'll write a proper comment later.
That is really beautiful. Thank you. I’m sorry for your losses. Your piece today is such a fitting reminder for us to appreciate life, now, and the people we love. Happy Thanksgiving…hope today your bubble floats you to over to be near your kids, good food and peace.
That was beautiful and I'm in tears. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing BJ